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8. February, 2010

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Sarah Palin takes up palm reading.

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"[W]e think our version, with sensible notes and comments pointing out the falsity of much of what he wrote, will be far better than neo-Nazis putting out their own versions."

7. February, 2010

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Words matter, on the religion beat — kind of like politics, or sports, or the food page.

6. February, 2010

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"That study may have been flawed, but the connection still exists. How else do you explain the fact that neither of my intentionally unvaccinated children have autism?"

5. February, 2010

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Heinz finally makes bigger to-go packages, so you won't need four dozen packets of ketchup. Is this a great time to be alive, or what?

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"This terrible disease has made thousands of boomers' memories of the 1960s almost completely unreliable and fragmented. And we're talking about people who, even before they contracted Alzheimer's, believed they single-handedly ended the war in Vietnam."  

4. February, 2010

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You know how abstinence-only sex education is completely worthless and doesn't have any effect on students' behavior? Yeah, about that...

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My Lord, OMG best post ever! first!

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The CIA needs special permission to off American citizens. Lucky us.

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You know how they say dogs are man's best friend? Well, Buford is certainly my best friend. Best friend in the whole wide world.

3. February, 2010

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I would hope that this revelation elicits further coverage from your fine organization. It would be a shame if we focused on the admittedly grotesque operation that severs a dog's vocal cords while completely ignoring the even more serious crime of canine genital mutilation.

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Rhode Island students are not improving fast enough in reading and math, according to the latest round of standardized test scores, and are not on target to meet the ambitious achievement goals set by the state's new education commissioner, Deborah A. Gist.

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"Securing the viability of the bridge is testament to the natural preservative qualities of sugar."

2. February, 2010

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Yesterday is regrettable, tomorrow still hypothetical. But you can always listen to your body, and seize today with both hands. [Thanks, Ashley!]

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"Compassion and love - we agree with all that stuff, too. But what led me to find Christ was that Jesus was a fighter."

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Apparently, tweeting about your criminal activity is kind of a bad idea.

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"The only thing that comes close to being as painful as what they told us this morning is my passing a kidney stone two weeks ago"

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Remember that one, single UK study connecting vaccines with autism, against all other evidence? Yeah, about that.

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...an isolated outpost of left-wing political activism, no matter how deplorable and scandalous...

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Hey Todd, can you help us out with the predicate of this sentence: "The most creative way to provide necessary community services without involving the tax payer and provide the unemployed with daily work income while the state will collect taxes upon economic activity from work projects."

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The sky really is falling-and that's great.

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"Just about every time Obama spoke to kids, he'd do it in a library. I took that as a sign."

1. February, 2010

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What could possibly go wrong with this idea?

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"I'm not a hawk or a dove," he added. "I'm an eagle."